Beautiful Badass

Today, I did a Beachbody workout called Plyo Fix Extreme. And then I cried. Because ow, my feelings.

(Oh by the way – hey everyone! It’s been 3 years! What up! Hope you’re awesome!)

Things that have happened/I’ve done over the past year:

  • 3 rounds of 21 Day Fix, where I lost 24 pounds and at least 18 inches
  • Going for weeks at a time where I didn’t even think about working out (or if I did, it was with a hearty laugh and whole lotta NOPE)
  • WE GOT ENGAGED!!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!
  • Ate super healthy for days at a time
  • Ate super terribly for days at a time
  • Drank a lot of Shakeology (newsflash: I love it.)
  • DID I MENTION WE GOT ENGAGED?????
  • Prioritized my health over everything else
  • Prioritized social situations and stress and everything else I could think of over my health
  • Tried on wedding dresses and felt truly beautiful, despite my current health situation
  • BOUGHT a wedding dress that fits me currently (AHHHHHH :)))
  • Discovered Halo Top

**moment of silence for the joy that is Halo Top**

  • Did 21 Day Fix workouts, Cize workouts, Core de Force workouts, Shaun T workouts
  • Got a new band director job!!
  • Went on a beautiful 2-week road trip with my love
  • Spent lots of time thinking about my health and not doing anything
  • Spent lots of time enjoying my life

And here we are. I’ve started a new teaching job where I am the head director and have way more responsibility than I used to. I’m getting married in March. My stress levels SHOULD be at an all time high. Are they? Um, it’s quite possible. But today I came home from work and did a workout that I would have been absolutely terrified of a year ago.

So I cried. I am simultaneously disappointed and amazed at what my body can do. Like, one second I’m going – what the hell was that, Love? You dumb fat idiot. And then the next second I’m like – holy shitsticks I just did 30 seconds of squat jumps with weights! What the holy hell?? My feelings are hilarious and all over the place right now. I have so many pounds and inches to lose – but I just kicked so much ass and sweated so much – but I’m exhausted and have to modify so many things – but I’m here and I finished it and now I’m weeping because EMOTIONS.

Over the past year, I’ve kept off almost 20 pounds, but I’m definitely less strong than when I dropped those 24 pounds in last August-October. I’m hoping to need alterations on that badass new wedding dress I just bought. I’m hoping to kick ass and be healthy and lose inches and pounds and make it a routine. I’m hoping that I can continue meal planning/prepping with Walter every week, even if we’re not perfect. We’ll see. But today, I feel like a beautiful badass who just completed a workout that was comically difficult and made me sweat my freaking face off. And here’s a beautiful photo of that face:

Love out.

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